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[icon] yo amo vivir
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Subject:I slept so sweetly last night.
Time:11:07 am
I have had this problem of sleeping in lately. No matter how early I get to bed I have been sleeping in regularly. To top it off when I finally roll out of bed, I am groggy, dizzy, and sensitive to light.

By the time I get outside everyone has been awake for hours and are off to lunch. They all have seemed to be well accomplished for the day. I struggle to form sentences such as, "I'll have a coffee... yes, regular", while everyone around me is talking of the legislative short session.

The point is that have always considered myself a nonpracticing early riser and lately I am just not sure anymore.
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Time:02:36 am
I don't mind being a Texan- Houston represent! (w/ helping the hurricane victims) I have been, somewhat obsessively, watching the news trying to grasp the fragility of life. We are so fragile. I have a new focus in life which i would like to share. I am focusing on Healing. Any good books, movies, of poem recommendations about healing would be appreciated.
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Subject:hallow woods in just boots
Time:05:35 pm
today a trip to the haw river rope swing- but along the way we meet up with a big storm cloud and i was sure the river would be stronger than me with the heavy water from the rain. so we didn't swing. we kept driving and went antique shopping. i saw old odd things- doorknobs, lunch boxes, goonies glasses, pocket knives, an out house, dressers, great grandfather pocket watches, 200 dollar griddles, old saxophones, banjos and mandolins and flutes and guitars, books books books!, a 15 dollar batik, and one jade espresso cup.

lunch at the pittsboro general store where a frazzled girl behind the register asked me again and again if i wanted chips and salsa. i said YES, YES, YES... then she said "chips and salsa" a few more times to herself, asked me to point at it on the menu and then asked someone in the kitchen if they had it. ... i was waiting at a table and i heard her say "chips and salsa, chips and salsa" to herself again 3 minutes after i thought the ordeal had come to a close... it confused me because i never believed that a person so normal looking could act so strangely.

yesterday was lovely too.
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Subject:it would be really good if you stopped smoking
Time:11:39 am
it is funny how we can believe in things that we do not know and we can know others and not believe they are real.

where are we coming from. what is the basis for our understanding and applying to our life.

are we in control of what we believe? who gives this to us? and why are stilling with there hand covered in the long cuffs of their jackets hiding that they do things-they produce-they live.

(mr. gann's substitute teacher)
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Subject:thunderstorm tonigh at the recyclery
Time:08:09 pm
the wind comes all of a sudden rushing in my window-
all the screen doors slam without shutting
the wind chimes that never chime rattle on top of eachother
the air is colder than it should be
i listen alone, my heart a little more interested in living than usual.
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Subject:maybe this can help you
Time:03:46 pm
my dance instructor said to my class yesterday:

you see where you are.
you feel where you are going.
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Subject:hot water in a glass pitcher.... mistake? i think not.
Time:11:52 pm
last thing. today this lady yelled at me at my museum job. it ruined my day. i spent hours sulking over it... and i couldn't pull myself up- then a stranger walked by me while i was tucked behind a mug of tea at fosters market. he smiled... maybe not AT ME but somewhere in my direction... and suddenly a flash, a sparkel, a something...



i cannot finish this. i need to stop writing and go bed. goodnight.
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Time:11:49 pm
NO NO , i hope that you are not kissed on valentines day, i hope that you are happy. i hope that you find a dance partner or a good sitting partner (if you prefer to sit) blessing and blessings. i blow bubbles in your direction.
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Current Music:kelly strumming her guitar, laurel sighing "funny thing thos
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Subject:take back the darkness
Time:11:39 pm
Current Mood:.5 anger .5 something else
so there is a serial rapist in carrboro. one of the rapes happened on Sue Ann street which is not far from our street. and i hear talk of it in our house, i feel the words, that are talk, that are really anger. it makes me angry but really it make me angry that i get angry. so i ignore it. then i leave the room because it does no good to talk about things that have no solutions. i feel like it is pushing on the bruise that is sore. then i walk in here... in my room. I had left my bed unmade but this time i jump back seeing someone hiding there waiting for me.
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Current Music:joao gilbert
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Subject:good things come from rain.
Time:03:20 pm
Current Mood:cloudy no rain
stomping around: "tut tut, looks like rain."






-----
this morning. i woke up at 8 to prepare a breakfast picnic. me and beth blindfolded laurel and kelly and took them to jordan lake. picnic consisted of hummus, baguette, farmers cheese, apple, banana, guava juice, perrier lime sparkling water, hot chocolate, candles, smooth rocks, harmonic, deck of cards, of course- red lipstick.

I found a large beech tree branch with leaves still clinging. i swung it around, the wind resistance (because of the leaves) made me feel like a bird with feathers. my fascination rendered when i was too dizzy.

being in the woods made me introspective. The branch swinging was an attempt to come out of the woods emotionally/mentally.

the drive back was lovely, but i sat silent.

this afternoon. grumpy tramping around the house cleaning. angry that i clean everyday and nothing is where it should be... ever. grumpy because i wanted to napping. grumpy because i have to work tonight. grumpy because i don't know know how i am going to afford a trip to spain in a few months.

now. i will read, like i want to. JUST like i want to, with my candle burning and all.



yes, happy valentines day... i hope you are kissed. i hope you enjoy it.
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[icon] yo amo vivir
View:Recent Entries.
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